05.18.10
I think I’d seen the last of my bro …
The imminent breakup of the couple that I adore most is tearing me apart. Nakakalungkot lang, nakaka doubt ang buhay. Why build a life for thirteen years and all of a sudden wake up one day to say I love you no more.
Nakakalungkot. When I am with them, wala akong itinatago. I am so accustomed of disguising myself to others that in the end I become a disguised to myself. Sa kanila, wala akong itinago.
I used to believe in happily ever after, ngayon parang hindi na. Hindi natin hawak ang panahon, ang buhay ang sitwasyon. Actually, wala naman talaga tayong hawak kahit ano. One thing that I learned from this experience, is that I have to live and decide for myself.
All my life I had been looking for myself, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers; What do I know? I was naive. I was asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with, that I am nobody but myself.
Sana pwede ko etong i-share ang natutuhan ko kay Dizon, gusto ko syang tawagan, kaya lang all my adoration for my bro dissipated.
Mami-miss ko siya, however after ng ginawa niya kay Tina at ginagawa pa nya, I think I’d seen the last of my bro…